RAINBOW ENGLISH MEDIUM BANS AFRO

It is painful how every day we seem to drive away from our culture and we let those who influence such get away with it. Historically, Africans, as in every culture, developed hairstyles from our natural hair that defined status, or identity, in regards to age, ethnicity, wealth, social rank, marital status, religion, fertility, adulthood, and death.

Hair was carefully groomed by those who understood the aesthetic standard, as the social implications of hair grooming were a significant part of community life. Dense, thick, clean, and neatly groomed hair was something highly admired and sought after. Hair groomers possessed unique styling skills, allowing them to create a variety of designs that met the local cultural standards. Hair was usually dressed according to local culture. we seem to be loosing our sense of culture due to people always looking down on natural hair as if its bad hair. 

I personally don’t understand how Afro hairstyle affects anything with the learning environment. Schools should focus on producing excellent leaders of tomorrow rather than who wears what kind of hairstyle to school. If I may go on to ask what is wrong with Afro, I believe we use a lot of things to identify ourselves and hair included, how then do you feel the right to tell one how to express them self especially after they decided to not go to a government school and pay thousands of pulas to learn freely, comfortably and flexibly.

This is a true violation of freedom of expression. This disappoints even more when in actual fact the school identifies its self as a multicultural school. Indians, Chinese, American just to mention a few are allowed to wear their hair however they pleases why can’t Africans be allowed to embrace their culture and wear their hair as it is. It’s not like Afro is something you walk in the saloon to do to your hair its natural hair what are you implying is wrong with Afro. Why not say it should be tidy and worn in its natural color or black.

Where is the multicultural aspect in now telling a specific group of people to stop wearing their hair naturally rather conform to the western culture? We are Africans it’s high time we are allowed to embrace it. What is the school trying to teach our future leaders that Afro is not formal, that it’s not ok and that long straight hair is and braiding your hair is? One should be able to express themselves how they want as long as it does not affect or infuence anyone negatively.

This whole no Afro issue is going to divide and agitate pupils because some will feel discriminated and oppressed something our fore fathers has fought so hard in eliminating. People deserve to feel equal everywhere they are, we should stop moving back in time and realize that we live in a new age and era where we have rights and one of them being freedom of expression.

I continue to ask, what is wrong with Afro and how does it affect ones learning process, after all it’s just natural hair.

INTIMATE PARTNER VIOLENCE

Its been a while since I posted something so I would like to apologise to all my readers for that. today I will be addressing intimate partner violence.

An intimate partner is a person with whom one has a close personal relationship that can be characterized by the following: Emotional connectedness. Regular contact. Ongoing physical contact and/or sexual behavior.

Intimate partner violence describes physical, sexual, or psychological harm by a current or former intimate partner or spouse. This type of violence can occur among heterosexual or same-sex couples.

Violence by an intimate partner is linked to both immediate and long-term health, social, and  economic consequences. Factors at all levels -individual, relationship, community, and societal -contribute to intimate partner violence. Preventing intimate partner violence requires reaching a clear understanding of those factors, coordinating resources, and fostering and initiating change in individuals, families, and society.

Types of Intimate Partner Violence

· Physical violence is the intentional use of physical force (e.g., shoving, choking, shaking, slapping, punching, burning, or use of a weapon, restraints, or one's size and strength against    another person) with the potential for causing death, disability, injury, or physical harm.

· Sexual violence the use of physical force to compel a person to engage in a sexual act        unwillingly, whether or not the act is

completed.

· Threats of physical or sexual violence communicate the intent to cause death, disability, injury, or physical harm through the use of words, gestures, or weapons.

Psychological/emotional violence 

Traumatizes the victim by acts, threats of acts, or coercive tactics (e.g., humiliating the      victim, controlling what the victim can and cannot do, withholding information, isolating the victim from friends and family, denying access to money or other basic resources). In most cases, emotional violence has been preceded by acts or threats of physical or sexual violence.

Stalking is often included among types of  intimate partner violence. Stalking generally refers to harassing or threatening behavior that an individual engages in repeatedly, such as sending the victim unwanted presents

Equality in relationships means that partners will have to cooperate and contribute to the relationship or household without being      intimidated or without intimidating the other partner.

THE CYCLE OF IPV 

This is the cross generational transfer of violence. They start tension due to disagreement then violence and then the honey moon phase where the perpetrator sweet talks the victim or buy him/her gift then the cycle repeats

We can not over look sexuality when dealing with IPV

Sexuality involves

Feelings

Desire

Intercourse

Expression

These four are somehow interlinked i.e. sensuality, intimacy, identity and sexual health.

SENTUALITY: is how our bodies and get and give pleasure.

INTIMACY/RELATINSHIPS: is the part of sexuality that deals with relationships.

SEXUAL HEALTH: involves our behavior related to producing children, enjoy sexual   behaviors, and maintaining our sexual and   reproductive organs.

SEXUALITY TO CONTROL OTHERS:

Unfortunately, many people use sexuality to violate someone else or to get something from another person. E.g. rape is used as an act of war or for supremacy.

IDENTITY

The following things contribute to identity in one way or the other:

Biological sex- male, female and intersex

Gender roles- masculine and feminine

Gender identity- how one feels about themselves ie masculine or feminine or neither    regardless of their gender and or sex.

Sexual orientation- who one is attracted to  sexually, intimately and romantically

 Heterosexual        Bisexual         Homosexual

EFFECTIVE INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION

One realizes this if through their communication they get feedback, if they get results, if they are understood, if the information is     interpreted well.

We were taught how to deal with someone shouting at you and that it is important to cool off.

Pointers to help one not to be victims or      perpetrators of IPV. Which are ;

• Constructive communication
• Control temper and dealing with emotions without being violent
•  Power of introspection (empathy)

DO NOT BE A VICTIM OR PERPETRATOR OF IPV BE AN ACTIVIST AND HELP FIGHT AGAINST IPV

        

ITS THE 21ST CENTURY WHERE IGNORANCE IS NO LONGER BLISS BUT STUPIDITY AND IRRESPONSIBILITY

Often times we find ourselves questioning our sexuality and whether or not to explore it and live it out is worth all the criticism and hatred we get as a response of this, from the communities we live in especially if our family is part of it too. I wouldn't advice anyone to live a lie because if we lived to make people happy yet we are not happy or have anyone to do the same for us then what is the point of being selfless.

Transgender and Intersex people are being abused everyday and the worst part is that even people who claim to care about them become perpetrators by not doing anything about people who directly and boldly discriminate this people. Being Transgender and or  Intersex is not medical condition and it does not go away with time it is a part of who this individuals are. Before we start judging, one should pick a book and read or google or better yet ask and you will get your answers. What is this world turning into? Its  like illiteracy and ignorance are what we presume to be important. This saying "ignorance is bliss"does not work anymore because ignorance to me is irresponsibility and stupidity. We need to be aware of the world and environments we live in and people we live with especially when it comes to exercising our Human Rights yet not violation the next persons' Human Rights.

You don't have to be friends with Trans and or Intersex people all we ask at Rainbow Identity (RI) ask is tha we find a way of living together without violating one anothers' Human Rights.

LETS STOP DISCRIMINATING AMONG OURSELVES

Good morning readers it has been a while since I posted something and its because I have been swamped with a lot of work and back to back workshops. Today I would like to address the issue of Transgender and Intersex people discriminating against each other. We preach Human Rights and advocacy and ending discrimination and stigma yet we ourselves (LGBTIQ) judge each other and help demoralize each other every opportunity we get. I had a conversation with a Trans man yesterday on my way home and he raised this issue and talked at length about it and it made me realise that until we start accepting one another and understanding and also considering each other's feelings we can never win with this nation or reach our goals.

Guys lets love each other and practice what we preach if we want to be taken seriously. Still on that we are always at each other's throats as the LGBTIQ trying to be better that the other and that on its own will make archiving our goals to decriminalize Homosexuality in Botswana impossible to archive. we are the Rainbow family we are hated by most and discriminated against every where we go its time we defend our fellow brothers and sisters and remove discrimination of any sort from our minds and vocabulary. As one of the key populations we need all the love and support we can get among-st and from each other before we can go out looking for acceptance out there.

Lets put our ducks in a row.we do not need to be friends or even like each other but lets not be the first to jump the gun as soon as one of us is discriminated against. Lets not be the ones throwing hateful speeches at each other. lets stop bullying be it cyber or personal, lets stop all this abuse against each other because the blunt truth is people judge us by what we do and say.as the LGBTIQ we live under a micro scope so this careless behavior needs to stop right away
Fam.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

BEING TRAPPED IN WRONG BODY

Being trapped in a wrong body is the most challenging thing that one can go through, I for one do not wish it on anyone because one has to accept them self before being accepted by people around them. Imagine where people label you as a man or male but you feel more of a woman or female. How do you then express your true self without being subjected to discriminatory statements and being ridiculed by the world around you. It is pure bravery when one steps out of this closet to say I m here, I m a trans woman see me and accept me how I am.

Due to people avoiding being discriminated because of their sexuality we as Rainbow Identity have a challenging task of identifying transgender and intersex people so that we can offer them our many services. How do I invite someone to a trans and intersex workshop or event without offending them in the sense that I m judging them as to what sexuality they fall under. We all know that same sex relations are not legal in my home country Botswana neither is it illegal and that really leaves a lot of grey areas on how to deal with trans and intersex issues. We should know that with sexuality and gender what we see may not be what really is. If people took reading into account when they come across certain, or rather all information then we would make progress in freely and without challenge advocating for Transgender and Intersex human rights laws so as policies relating to sexual and reproductive health rights.

I would like to take this opportunity to applaud all transgender and intersex people who are out of their closets despite the criticism and discrimination they might face and say to those that haven't yet that they should do so when they are ready. They should not be any pressure in coming out and coming face to face with your true sexuality but mind you, that prolonging the situation wont make it go away thou. As much as there are homophobic and transphobic people in our societies there are also those welcoming, accepting and loving people in our communities.

How then do you recognize those loving and accepting from the homophobic and transphobic is a quest one has to take and bear in mind that the results can either be pleasant or gruesome. We should know that in fighting and standing against homophobia and transphobia the above mentioned should be the leaders or should I say activists in this endeavors because no one can fight a battle better than the victim or should I say the survivors of this phobias. Who better to tell the story than them. as their sisters, brothers, mothers, fathers and other family members and friends it is our responsibility to support them in fighting against this injustices.

Its not one's choice to be assigned a sex that you feel foreign to, its time we start accepting and acknowledging that its an actual fact that these people are born this way. Christians say that these key populations are an abomination, what are they really saying that God makes mistakes or God created an abomination yet we all know that in creating human beings God took his time and if this was in fact wrong then wouldn't God know, wouldn't he make sure it was not so. I feel this is an insult to our creator who created everyone equal. Well this topic is for another day people and till then lets know that we were all created in the image of God.

In closing this day lets all stand against homophobia and transphobia because we are all human after all..

WELCOME REMARKS

Welcome readers to Rainbow Identity BW blog. My name is Urbenia Kgwarae (28)I am the media officer for Rainbow Identity Association (RIA) and the Admin of this blog this is where I will be sharing with you stories and any material that involves or affects the rainbow nation i.e LGBTIQ people how ever my main focus will be on Transgender (T) and intersex (I) simple because that is the mandate of Rainbow Identity Association (RIA). As a nations we should acknowledge and accept that transgender and intersex people live among us as family, neighbours, colleagues and friends there for we should make them feel welcome and safe as we all are entitled to Human Rights. I am not implying that Transgender and Intersex people should be treated special but that they should be awarded the same opportunists as heterosexual people. 

I would like you to assist me through this blog by sharing your stories, pictures and any other material about Trans and Intersex such as Poems, videos and more. please email them to urbeniaukgwarae@gmail.com and be specific if you want the stories to be anonymous or have your byline. thank you in advance for your cooperation and let love lead.