THE TRUTH ABOUT WHO

My name is Phio Kenosi I was born to a jolly woman who, bless her soul, did not know that she was having a headache for a child. When I was a kid I am reported to have hated anything remotely feminine with a passion to the extent that drinking out of the same cup as a girl gave me the hibbies and I thought girls had cooties, so you see problem child. I played with “boys” toys and until recently mom didn’t know I gave my cousin my Barbie doll when we were kids in exchange for a goblin and gargoyle action figure. All my best friends were all boys, still are to this day and everything made sense in that way, I just knew I wasn’t a girl and had no real concept of anything else.

I have lived an interesting life, I was allowed to express myself after they grew tired of trying to “doll” me up. The perfect ‘daughter dare I say, once they saw that wasn’t going to work we sort of just decided that I understood what felt good on my skin and society hadn’t peeped in to who I was yet and therefore I was deemed acceptable because of my childhood. I could wear pants in Church and at funerals which was and still is considered a taboo [insert face palm and eye roll emoji], without realizing it I was privy to a space I would slowly be expelled from simply on the base that I did not agree with their notion of what it meant to be someone in particular.

When society decided I must leave my childhood whiles behind and join the big people’s table in  all honesty I was not expecting it. I was still for the most part a child and I still am said child, who knew nothing about this person I was supposed to be. I was to start wearing dresses to Church and funerals, at family events I couldn’t go gather firewood with the other boy cousins, I was not allowed to handle power tools and I couldn’t take part in activities I previously enjoyed, I was now dainty and delicate. The people made a decision for me about who I am at this point and I was to bend to this will, the most insulting part of this was when the charades started no one came to explain anything to me, to explain why they thought the world ought to work the way they were suggesting.

It was at this point that I started to question God, I mean why make me different only to try and beat it out of me? Try and make me suffer for the fact that the brain and the body did not correlate? Try to take away that which was not singular in thought process as its world? I decided that god was not my friend, not only because he was not replying my texts (Prayers), but also because his representatives seem to all want to prove that ‘God’ made no mistakes and yet I was still classified as a mistake. My mother wanted so hard to help because she did not understand, at first  they all thought it was a phase, then trauma hit me and they thought it was that and then they thought that I was bewitched (of which I do not believe in). They listened to the naysayers, the charlatans and all the weird, toxic and harmful messaging that demonized me before them and therefore led to this culmination of what and who I am in regards to religion and society.

I remember once my mother asked me to go to church with her, at this point I did things to please them and get them off my back. It was all so heavy on my soul but I did it anyway in the name of benevolence and family honor. This man calling himself the man of god and preaching out of someone's backyard, under a tent that could seemingly collapse at any time, held up by poles and the floor littered with mats which were a collection from people’s houses all for them to gather and listen to a man ordained by the church in South Africa, with his ever pleasing Sotho accent. My mother had tried to explain our situation to him, he called us up to the middle of the circle and he proceeded to tell me that I had a demonic spirit of a bull, that I was stubborn and I needed to be delivered from this spirit to which he continued to force my body to the floor with about 3 other strong armed men, he blew into my face and proceeded to call out the demon in me. Looking back now it seems much like an outer body experience because I remember thinking to myself, this can’t be right and only one scripture was in my head at this point, “God is Love and he who does not know love does not know God” John something. It felt like I was being attacked and therefore it hurt me fundamentally, down to my core. I must add that I had flu for the whole week after that.

In my current state I am non-religious and yet I still have nightmares about the church, every time I cough I keep thinking of that one man that told me hell was my portion, there is deep scarring even for those around me. Imagine hearing this as a parent, the amount of panic that ensues in your brain when you’ve been hoping to save your child from the clutches of the devil. Being told your family is cursed with such a spirit and that it dates back to times of ancient instead of rationalizing you proceed to panic further. We will never be over this time and I will not lie and say that I have fully forgiven, the cold sweats at night and demons I see when I close my eyes say otherwise because there are more stories where these came from.

I am tired though, I wish to never have explain myself to anyone ever again and I am getting there, and there is hope in my bones still. When I went to varsity I was the happiest little gay child you ever did see. I found other gay people and watched a lot of gay content online, I connected to online communities and I stayed awkward. I have open honest conversations with my parents about all the things I know of myself, I am still piecing myself together but I am not afraid to share this with others.

I remember I was on YouTube going through my list of Queer content creators one time and I came across a black Non Binary, Asexual content creator, talking about all these things that I knew myself to be, they helped me put words to feelings I was having have been having instead of just saying I’m not a girl and people assuming that that means I am a boy it also meant that I could exist in this blank space. I am a research body and so I decided to research all the ways one could exist in this space. People say there is western influence and the truth is we just didn’t have the words to say this is who we are and now they’re here so we use them. We also never had people that look like us, living their truth and telling us that its ok to exist in this manner and as we are and when I saw that this person existed and I listened to them and things made sense to me I knew I was home and I was not alone.

I had always known who I was it made others uncomfortable, people being confused means they try to silence you and take away your individual stake in the world. There is a song by Wrebel it’s called The Village and the depiction of it is that there is a boy who is trapped in these circumstance where he can’t be himself but he becomes himself in the end and there is a statement that struck a chord with me they say “There is nothing wrong with you, it’s true, There’s something wrong with the village” I still cry to this day when I hear this song because I will forever agree with this statement. I will also shout it from the rooftops for anyone who needs to hear it. In case you missed it my name is Phio Kenosi and I am a Trans Non-Binary individual who believes we can fix the village and there’s nothing wrong with me and others like me.

PRESS RELEASE : IDAHOT 2019 JUSTICE AND EQUALITY FOR ALL

PRESS RELEASE: 2019 IDAHOT

To: All Media Houses

RAINBOW IDENTITY ASSOCIATION: DEFENDERS FOR FREEDOM, JUSTICE AND EQUALITY COMMEMORATES IDAHOT 2019 KWA GAMAILA KO KANYE

Every year the global community of sexual and gender minorities identifies one specific focus issue for the celebrations around May 17^th which is IDAHOT (International Day Against Homophobia Transphobia and Biphobia). This year, the proposal is to focus attention on JUSTICE AND PROTECTION FOR ALL. Indeed, everyone is entitled to justice and protection regardless of their gender identity, expression, sex and sexuality. We all need to keep advocating for the protection and justice for the LGBTIQ, especially when we need to ensure safety, fight violence, lobby for legal change, and/or campaign to change hearts and minds. Putting the focus of the Day on Justice and protection for all can create a valuable opportunity for all of us to reach out to the our communities, legal and justice system and relevant authorities like the police on emphasis of the protection of these key populations and vulnerable groups, and to engage in collective action around the Day.

Rainbow Identity Association (RIA) commemorates this day every year, however this year RIA will be commemorating it on the 18^th of May in Kanye and would like the community and entire country to commemorate this day with them. RIA is a non-profit making organization based in Gaborone Botswana. It is an association of intersex and transgender people (Trans-women,Trans-men, queer gender, gender questioning, transsexuals and non- conforming gender). The organisation aims at exploring ways of challenging trans-phobic laws and trans-phobia in Botswana.

RIA prides itself in advocating for the voices of Trans and intersex people to be heard through sport and gender, community outreach, all forms of media and more. RIA has been operating for almost 10 years and has done great work and still is and would like the support of the entire country in celebrating diversity and the lives both lost and ongoing LGBTIQ community. Before we have gender identity, expression and sex we are human being and it is up to us human being to live in harmony by finding peaceful ways to co-exist and one of those ways is ensuring justice and protection for all. RIA can only do so much and needs the support and solidarity of the nation to successfully execute this because “setshwarwa ke ntsa pedi gase thata “ ebile “moroto o esi ga o ele”

This focus should also be a welcome reminder of the need for protection within the communities of sexual and gender minorities, as the rights of one specific group cannot be secured if the rights of other groups are left unchallenged. The focus on protection and justice should also highlight the necessity for sexual and gender minorities to push for the protection of other vulnerable groups (e.g. migrants, people living in poverty, vulnerable children, etc.).

The commemoration will take place in Kanye spear headed by Bobela Stas; a Kanye youth LGBTIQ led movement that was formed 2 years ago. There will be a march from Mahube mall to BG mall and then after the march they will be a key note speaker who is a member of Kanye council and then solidarity massages from other organisations, on discrimination and stigma and map the inter-sectionality with stakeholders to ensure ending violence and inequality against different diverse communities and lobby for legal reform as a collective. 

IDAHOT 2019 COMMEMORATION (JUSTICE AND PROTECTION FOR ALL)

Rainbow identity will be commemorating IDAHOT 2019 in Kanye on the 18th of May at Kanye, the day will start off with a march from Mahube mall to BG mall at 8 am. the day will be filled with sensetisation talks and there will be a guest key note speaker. #defendersoffreedomjustice&equality.

MY IDENTITY IS MY PRIDE

My name is Onneile Sam, I come from a village called Marobela. Some of my friends call me Sam or Samito. I was born in Orapa and raised in Letlhakane. Ever since I grew up, I felt that I was different, some people refer to us as, the odd one or, a black sheep. I might have been born a girl but deep down I feel like a boy. So, I am a Transgender man, but back then I had no idea about this identity of mine. I remember when I was 4 years old playing with my older brothers, I would shout out telling them that I am a boy, if they called me a girl. I also enjoyed playing with guns made out of plastic, and cars made out of wires. I was never fond of dolls. By then my family thought that I was kidding. My own mother thought that it was just a phase that would pass with time. There was a point of time when I told them that I no longer wanted to wear skirts and dresses. My mum and I would get into arguments while buying me clothes. By that time, she did not comprehend why I detested girl’s clothes, but on the other hand my dad seemed to comprehend. I even demanded to wear boy’s under wears. He was very supportive, to an extent of him and I becoming close. Even at school, I refused to wear skirts or dress uniform. Some teachers thought that I was somehow rebelling against the school system, whereas I was simply trying to be myself. Yes! I cannot deny the fact that I used to plait my hair. Trust me, I did not like it. My mum would bribe me so that I agree to be plaited. Obviously, I was still a child, and I could not resist the offer. I am not sure if she was ashamed or perhaps hoping for a miracle. Sometimes I turn to think that she was pressurized by the perspective of the society, since she is a religious woman. I was told to go to church or else I will end up in hell. The reason why I went to church was a way of pleasing my mum. To be honest I was never happy at church because we were only allowed to wear skirts and dresses, and that to me felt like torture. She did not realize that persuading me to wear skirts was like putting me in hell itself. I ended up hating church. I used to have a lot of hatred towards my mum, because I felt that she was forcing me to live a life that was fake. When I started to cut my hair short, she seemed to comprehend me gradually. I remember the first time when I had my period, it was still hard for me to accept that the body I had was mine. It felt like my worst nightmare. I used to pray to God wishing that I could wake up in a boy’s body. Even now I still have a wish to change, because I feel trapped. To some people it might seem silly, but normal to those who know how it feels to be a transgender.  When I was in my adolescent stage, I realized that most people called me a tomboy, some would say that I was a girl pretending to be a boy. Some guys would threaten to rape me, so as to turn me straight, as if that was possible. Fitting into the environment proved to be a difficult task. At first it was petrifying such that  I became anti-social, and I stayed indoors more often, turning to food for comfort, as well as expressing my feelings on a piece of paper, using ink. It is not easy to make the society to comprehend us especially when there is lack of support from the family. My dad left us and I had to learn to fend for myself. I even tried to date a guy, so as to find out if somehow, I had feelings towards boys. Dating a guy felt way weirder than the number of times I found myself crushing on a girl or a teacher at school. I was also trying to please everyone, and yet they never did anything to please me. So, when I turned 18 years old, I made the biggest decision of my life, and I am glad that I took it. I told myself that I was never going to please anyone again, including my own mum. In 2014 I moved to a village called Oodi, and I was also schooling there. So, all the guys who were in our class requested that all the ladies in the class should come to school wearing dresses. I refused. They attempted to criticize me and, I told them that, as much as I did not have a problem with them being who they are, I did not expect them to have a problem with me being who I am. That was bold right? I believe that they thought that I was somehow a threat to them, concerning the ladies. I cannot deny that most ladies were attracted to me, as much as I was attracted to some of them. So, I isolated myself so as to prevent conflicts with anyone, then the most amazing thing happened. People started being curious about my gender and my sexual orientation. Some of them were surprised because they thought that I was a guy. I enjoy being called a guy or a boy. Even strangers I came across addressed me as Brazen, even now. To me it seems normal. In two months almost half of the school had accepted me already. Being in Oodi helped me to meet other people who are like me. I got to learn a bit about homosexuality, and I became a bit relieved that I was not alone. I was taught about lesbians and gays, so I thought that I was a lesbian. It was through the help of Rainbow identity that I was able to receive proper knowledge, and indeed it was an eye opener for me. Rainbow Identity gave my identity a meaning. I felt my inner wounds healing gradually. Some of the wounds that healed were caused by incidents that occurred in Mogoditshane. Let me tell you what went down in Mogoditshane. While I was still schooling in Oodi, I would visit my uncle who resides in Mogoditshane, my uncle’s wife discriminated me in such a way that I felt like I was cursed. I was even afraid to tell my uncle because he was supporting his wife by then. Her sisters used to make fun of me, saying that I was possessed by demons. My uncle’s wife suggested I should wear dresses, skirts and plait my hair. She claimed that I was confusing her children, because they were told that I am a girl, whereas they saw me as a boy. By that time the use of anointing oils in most churches was popular so, she used anointing oil on me, thinking that I did not realize. Here is how it happened, she and her sister as well as her older daughter applied anointing oil on their hands. They stood in the living room, then she came and called me, I was in the bedroom. I could not refuse, who would? I was in her territory, so she was the one calling the shots. She claimed that everyone in the house should pray, so I went with her to the living room. They had all formed a circle, we were all instructed to hold each other’s hand, they had applied it thinking that I had an evil spirit which was compelling me to act and dress like a boy. They all thought that I would start jumping up and down, like someone who was possessed. Unfortunately for them, such an incident did not occur. Even though I was hurt that they used an anointing oil on me without my consent, I enjoyed seeing the disappointment on their faces. I confronted my mum about what they had done, and she told me ignore them, and ask God to forgive them. Sometimes it is difficult to fit into the environment, especially when the community fails to comprehend us, to a point where they try to force us to change. Some of the people see us as prey that should be haunted down, some of us are perceived as targets and guinea pigs. Someone might ask why I used the name guinea pig. I used it because there are some men out there who are on a mission to impregnant us, as well as to emotionally abuse us. Most Transgenders are afraid to come out because people cannot take a moment to put themselves in our shoes, and relate. The world can be too quick to judge, and try to justify their actions with the bible. Some people think that we are a disease, just imagine, it hurts. I can assure everyone that all LGBTI community is not possessed nor, disease carriers, because my own family accepted me, and some people in the society. I did not tell my family my secret but, it turns out that they knew all along. Whenever they wanted to know who I was dating, they would ask some of the people I used to hang with. It was funny, because I knew that they knew about my secret, but they were afraid to confront me. The same people who were asked about my identity spilled the beans, and I waited for my family to confront me. And, they did just that in 2017 during a Christmas Eve, I was not shocked but rather, overwhelmed. They made it easy for me to be fully out of the closet. Since coming out of the closet, I feel free and inspired to help other people out there who are like me, as well as those who are straight to comprehend. I would like to take this opportunity to thank Rainbow Identity for giving my identity a meaning. I hope what I went through will inspire people who are still living in the closet, so as to come out, and for the society to comprehend and accept us, or aid us where possible.   

RAINBOW IDENTITY SOCCER AND GENDER 2019

Soccer and Gender is finally here, every year RIA hosts soccer 6 aside where a team of 8 will be  competing with other teams of 8. This years soccer and gender will be on the 27th at Tlogatloga Jss, Gaborone from 8am till 4pm come and enjoy this day with us. Stalls of different organizations will be displayed for those who want to know more about the organizations. Food will be sold. 

YOUTH PITSO

Rainbow Identity Association is having a Youth Pitso for youth between the ages 18 - 35 to engage in conversation about the issues that affect us as youth, under the banner 'The Botswana we want'. This is to give the youth a platform to discuss issues and to come up with solutions that will not only benefit us but the next generation.

On the 23rd of March 2019 we will be at Tlotlo hotel and conference center from 8:00am. To RSVP please contact us on +267 390 5493 or WhatsApp +267 72 927 140 or hit us up on our Facebook page at Rainbow Identity. We are looking forward to seeing you there.

Being a trans person in Botswana is challenging let hear it from the mouth of a transwomen.

#translivesmatter

TRANSGENDER MYTHS

Transgender people live crazy lives

This is probably the most common misconception about trans people. Many people incorrectly associate being transgender with automatically living a “crazy lifestyle” based on tv and in the movies.

All transgender people do the everyday things that are a part of life. They go to work, buy groceries, see movies, kiss their kids good night.They are people. They do people things like everyone else.

Transgender people are confused

Just because a person is different, doesn’t mean they don’t know who they are. They are females, males, and intersex. Trans people have a gender. They are men, women, queer, and other genders. They know their sex and they know their gender. This can be confusing to us who inhabit more traditional gender roles, but to the transgender person, it is not confusing. It is just who they are.

That said, coming to the realization that you are trans, and coming out publicly as trans, in a society that doesn’t accept or understand you can be very confusing and hurtful. Many transgender people have experiences of feeling “defective” or “wrong.” This is a social problem, not a gender identity problem.

Transgender people are mentally disturbed

It’s true that many transgender people suffer from mental illness. But it’s not because of their gender identity alone! It’s because in a patriarchal society, being gender variant causes a lot of distress. So much distress, in fact, that it can be described by the diagnosis of a mental disorder. This diagnosis is helpful because it tells us that this person is hurting and something needs to be done to help. Transgender people have the same brains we do. They are just faced with a lot more mental and emotional stress.

Transgender people are gay

Gender identity and sexual orientation are two completely different things. One is what gender we see ourselves as being. The other is what gender(s) and sex(es) we are physically and romantically attracted to.

Knowing one doesn’t tell you about the other.

10 MISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT INTERSEX PEOPLE

1. Intersex means that a person has both sets of genitalia.

This is probably one of the most common misconceptions about intersex. Intersex often has nothing to do with the genitalia of the person, much less having two sets.

There are intersex people with a penis and a vaginal opening. However, there are no documented cases of a person being born with fully developed male and female genitalia. The vast majority of intersex people have genitalia that look pretty typically male or female with a small minority having atypical genitalia. In fact, the quaint, pseudo-scientific term‚ “true hermaphrodite” which refers someone with ovarian and testicular tissue can refer to a person with totally typical male or female genitalia.

2. 1 in 2000 infants is born intersex.

This is one of the most common statistics given. It would be more accurate to state simply that in hospitals with gender assignment teams, 1 in 2000 infants is born with genitalia that are so atypical that the attending physician requests the help of the specialists in the team to assign a sex.

Hospitals in Botswana have no gender assignment teams and most intersex people have typical genitalia. One should be careful to note that even in the majority of births with atypical genitalia, the doctor does not request any assistance from a gender assignment team even if one is available. Therefore, one can readily see that this figure gives the impression that intersex is very, very rare. It isn’t!

 3. When an intersex child is born, they cannot be left to grow up as is, but rather “something must be done”.

 

There are very few instances when a child’s intersex variation poses health risks that require immediate medical attention. Rather, intersex people, like all people, have health issues. For example, being a female is not in and of itself a health problem but there are health problems specific to females.

In the majority of cases where there are no health risks involved, we have witnessed that it is more beneficial to the intersex child to be allowed to grow up with their body intact. Preserving their bodies’ integrity allows intersex children to develop their own sense of sex and gender identity without the risk of irreparable damage to the formation of this identity.

The child can be raised with a provisional sex assignment of male or female and left to decide for themselves, as all other humans are given the right to do, if this sex feels right for them later on, and/or if they wish to make any cosmetic changes to their body to align it with their sense of self. Attempting to make these decisions for infants and children, while perhaps well intentioned, is playing a game of speculation with another person’s life.

4. Intersex is about homosexuality.

The underlying reasons for pathologizing intersexuality and suggesting treatments which are often barbaric are most likely a result of homophobia. However, there is nothing about intersexuality person that would cause one to state that intersexuality and homosexuality are the same issue or that they are directly related.

There quite possibly are links but the physiological reasons are not fully understood at this time. What is important to understand is that many people with intersex conditions, just as those without them, sometimes identify as gay or lesbian. Similarly, many intersex adults find the issue of homosexuality irrelevant to our perception of ourselves. More and more intersex people are comfortable with an intersex gender identity which we feel is more accurate in describing how we perceive ourselves.

The socially constructed model of eroticism offered up by many cultures which divides people into homosexual and heterosexual erases our identity. Even bisexuality further perpetuates the idea of only two genders by the use of the prefix “bi‚” which means‚ “both.” There are people who are primarily attracted to androgynous people, to “masculine ” women or “feminine” men. And most important of all, what is the opposite sex of an intersex person?

5. Disorders of Sex Development, or DSD, is the preferred term for intersex.

All members of the Organisation Intersex International – OII – the largest intersex organization in the world, reject the label Disorders of Sex Development, or DSD, for the simple reason that we are not disordered, but different, and we refuse to accept medical language and views which pathologize us.

The fact that some intersex individuals choose to use this term to describe themselves, just as some homosexuals view their homosexuality as a disorder to be cured, does not discount the fact that the label is inaccurate and stigmatizing to the community as a whole.

6. Intersex is not about gender.

To many intersex people, gender is the main issue. In many countries around the world, there are no early surgeries to “treat” intersex bodies. These people’s main issues are often based on not being able to fit into either gender or growing up with a body incompatible with the gender in which they were raised.

The very theories used to support mutilating intersex bodies both surgically and hormonally are based on notions of gender which have been proven to be unreliable. According to these theories, often espoused by followers of Dr John Money, gender is not innate to the individual. We have no proof of this. We do have quite a bit of proof to the contrary.

Intersex is not just about our bodies but also about how we perceive ourselves within those bodies and gender identity is a crucial part of everyone’s identity.

To erase the importance of gender to the individual intersex person is to reduce that person to only the physical aspects of their body, neglecting the more important part of the equation, their own perception of that body and themselves, as opposed to how others perceive them.

7. Intersex is part of the transgender movement.

No. Whereas individuals who are intersex might identify as transgender, the opposite is not true. Most people who are part of the transgender movement are not intersex.

To include intersex under the umbrella term “transgender” overlooks our specific needs which often are medical reform, legal issues concerning which gender we are, health issues specific to intersex bodies and more importantly, the fact that most intersex people are not trans.

Many intersex people are perfectly happy with being men or women and more and more of us are quite happy being intergender and find the notion of trans totally foreign to our identity because we are rejecting binary sex and binary gender altogether and the prefix “trans,” just like the prefix “bi‚” mentioned earlier, keeps the binary well intact.

8. The intersex movement is an identity movement like the LGBT movements.

The Organisation Intersex International campaigns for full human rights for all people born with intersex variations. However at this moment many intersex people do not claim “intersex” as an identity.

Our diverse community includes people who identify as intersex males, intersex females, intersex, males, females, both or neither male nor female, men, women, herms, or sometimes, also, transgender.

9. Most intersex people were assigned female.

Many intersex differences in infants assigned male are often overlooked and the parents are simply told there is some work necessary for proper urination or that a testicle has not descended and so on.

In addition, in many parts of the world intersex people are assigned male if at all possible because it is deemed more socially desirable to be male.

When one reads about all the many variations underlying intersex, one realizes that a person born intersex is just as likely to be assigned male as female.

10. Intersex is a “condition” which can be cured.

Surgical “normalization” of intersex bodies is an attempt, like eugenics, to remove differences which some people have decided are undesirable, and it often creates problems which were previously non-existent.

To view intersex variations as “medical conditions” which can be cured justifies the barbaric medical practices we are often subjected to, such as genital surgeries and/or hormones which may be contrary to our own core identity, and psychological treatments for not wishing to comply.